Well so much for resolutions

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I told myself I would write every day here. Without fail. Even if I had nothing to say.

Sigh.  I can use all the excuses. None matter. If it were important I would continue, right?

It’s important. Yet. What?  Why is it so hard for me to commit to writing a sentence a day?

I need a phone app that lets me write that: a sentence a day to be elaborated on when I have a bigger visual platform.

I realized the other day what I boring person I am.  I have lived here four years next month.  I have maybe one or two local friends. And when I say that I say they are local but I mostly only see or talk to them on facebook.

Pathetic.

I am not a joiner. No clubs. I am an introvert. I cannot INSERT myself into an established circle. Not my style. Add to this my stupid back pain and you have a boring, non joiner who works, reads books. cooks, caters to her kids. End of my boring story.  I want so much to give more of my time to others to help, to nurture. And I have no outlet for it. I stress over work deadlines, worry about job security.  CONSTANTLY worry about money.  It’s exhausting.  I can’t go for a whale watch (back), ride a horse (back), swim (back), stand up or sit too long (back).  And I am FRUSTRATED.

Here comes my oldest.  Home from school.  Frustrated with a paper he has to write.

Next is my youngest. He’s 11 and louder than his 18 year old stepbrother. Our three cats run from them both.

Okay. I did more than a sentence today.

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