The unquiet mind. Monkey Mind, she calls it.
Goosebumps went up me and the voice inside I call LISTEN said to me. “That’s what we are! Monkeys!” LISTEN is the voice that says, “Oh you’re trying to relax? Let me help you with that.” When I am trying to make my mind go blank. The voice that says “Are you INSANE?’ when I am about to get on a plane just because I have “a feeling” it’s the right path. (grin).
When I read the book, I had around 20 monkeys. And they have names! But I realized the other day, some go into hiding.
Paranoid has left.
So has Timid..
So has YouCan’t…
So have Shouldhave, Wouldhave and Couldhave..
So has, Itsme (as in I am responsible for EVERYTHING that goes wrong)
So I’m making progress.
But the ones that are still here: sigh. I try and have them pile rocks while reciting the multiplication tables to give them a task. Sometimes they leave me alone. Sometimes they don’t listen at all.
I still have some I cannot name here, but they know who they are.
One has my dad’s voice. That’s STOP as in “OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE! QUIT THAT!”. LOL
There’s WhatIF. She drives me nuts. Tries to predict the future and plan for things that might happen. “But what if…” All the various scenarios drive her into a tizzy. I can get her quiet with a glass of wine.
There’s DoIT! She can be annoying (exercise today! Get a massage! Pay the bills! Be a grown up!) but also be encouraging (you CAN do this).
Faith has gotten very strong, but remains very, very quiet most days. She has a chant when thing quiet down. “Shhhhh.”
There are at least THREE creative monkeys who appear on a whim (I cannot call these muse monkeys) to throw multicolored confetti and recite amazing words I need to write down for my book. They ALWAYS show up when I don’t have a pen, a keyboard or a witness.
Their chatter varies day to day. Sometimes one’s louder than the rest. Sometimes they all talk at once. (Usually after a Venti latte).
I wonder if I can trade a few in for a few I “need”.
Who wants a sad monkey for a happy one though?