June 2007

jenandtoken1987June 23 2007 – Where my Monkey mind is quiet

There is music in my head.

My body sways gently as I become aware that the rhythm is being created by the animal beneath me.  I breathe as we walk together: acting as one. I feel my toes, my calves, my legs and my butt sink into the saddle, as the rhythm becomes more familiar and natural.

From the outside, I now feel I am invisible: a burr in the horse’s mane perhaps. But no.  Gentle pressure from my left calf, and the horse yields right, double pressure awakens her feet, and her ears flip back and forth, listening to me. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do next? Let’s play! I move her to a slow trot, and her neck curves, and her feet rise higher. I sit deeper into the saddle and feel the change in rhythm.

This is dancing with a horse. Mere changes in my weight, the pressure in my hands, fingers, and feet communicate silently and almost invisibly.  She crosses feet and drifts sideways in a floating motion – there is no ground.  A silent communication results in a gentle canter and further communication leads to a flying change of lead – her feet adding a beat in mid air like a dancer.

I am in another world.  Everything else recedes, becomes unimportant.  I am single focused.

For an hour, I am free of my life. I become someone else.

Non verbal communication at its finest.

*********

June 2007

Like a mammoth
in a tar pit
I am coated in black, sticky stuff
That will not release me as I fight
I stomp my feet and become
further mired in my own mess
I stretch
I yell
I rail against what is
It does not hear me
it merely IS what it IS
I call it bad
I call it frustrating
I call it stuckLET ME GOBut what is this sticky stuff
what is holding me
what is frustrating me?My whole life.Not good

Not good at all

Can I please, for a day be ANYONE but ME?

Oh my god. I take it back.

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